Dicke's Cursed Bday

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Do you believe in curses? Do you believe there are cures for curses? After this ominous tale of the bizarre, maybe you'll change your mind. Just be forewarned that this is a very foreboding tale. The whole series of events has an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Simpsons" comes on at 6:30 p.m. instead of 6:00.

Once there was a fetus boy, happy like a parasite in a woman's womb. The sun and the planet earth aligned just right to unleash a cunning curse Tuesday, September 13. The curse itself was created with something to prove, living in the shadow of the infamous Friday the thirteenth cures, arriving on Tuesday the 13.

That day the curse wanted to harm the fetus so it unleashed its wrath on the woman, causing her unheard of pain to the point she couldn't take it anymore and expelled the fetus. The fetus was now called a boy and his name was Phil, but everyone referred to him by his surname, Dicke.

Nothing will ever compare to the joys in the womb, but young Dicke was still content because he had to do little in life. His mother fed him, loved him, and cared for his every need. Then another dreaded day occurred.

It was 365 revolutions of the earth after he was first cursed and born, and the planet and the sun were aligned in the same way to allow the curse to reemerge. This continued repeatedly, every time the humble planet and sun were aligned, usually every 365 days, the curse would exact its nefarious revenge on poor Dicke. The wrath was subtle but noticeable over time. It stretched him out and made him have to feed himself. Next he had to earn for himself. Every year the curse was MAKING HIM OLDER --dun dun da.

For the most part Dicke didn't notice the curse like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. Then one year he found a girl, and he thought the stories were true that love would keep you forever young and defeat the curse. When the blue planet and sun realigned, the curse was fearful, and struck hard. It targeted the girl and made her dump poor Dicke on this day.

Eventually we named this alignment of the sun, Dicke's birthday. This year Dicke has found another, better girl. Are they in love enough to destroy the curse or will it destroy them? --dun dun da.

DINNER:
For Dicke's birthday we treated him to Ottos so he could get some quality microbrews. Did the curse strike when he got a nasty beer? Or maybe it was the curse when Aussie Mike and Kate started battling amongst themselves. No, no, the curse went right after Dicke's love, KT.

FIGHT:
A wet napkin bit battle raged. Dicke wanted to retaliate so he put a piece of his napkin into ketchup a straw in spitball fashion and then said, "KT I won't hit you in the eye." Now I know Dicke, he lacks the ability to do something that mean, so of course he didn't aim for KT's eye. But as my video proves, the curse curved the spitball right into KT's eye.

EVIL BDAY CAKE:
After dinner at Ottos we went to Dicke’s to play some ping pong have some cake. How evil is the curse’s ways? It maid KT buy tRick candles that Dicke burned himself trying to put out until he finally just spat on the cake to extinguish the flames.

Will the lovers survive the curse? Only time will tell.
But if the curse breaks Dicke and KT up, it looks like Aussie Mike is ready to take her place (see photo above)….maybe that’s the real curse!!

Happy bday Dicke.
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