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The greatest holiday in State College is Halloween. The best way to experience it is simply viewing the 313 pictures linked above, but I'll do a drive by of some of the highlights.
For this festive weekend, Lena visited in her naughty nurse costume, though her comrade, Amy, ditched town with her nasty nurse costume. I'd like to thank Lena for entertaining me before Nicole's party by parading around in various costumes from my bag of leftover costumes, for keeping me amused the whole weekend by crashing at my place, and for babysitting Nicole with porn when she didn't want to go out Saturday night.
On Friday, Nicole asked me to run tunes at her party which meant "Cotton-eyed Joe" was played as my signature song. Unfortunately most of the Halloween songs I got for the occasion didn't copy correctly, but nothing would keep the guests from couch dancing while looking at the kewl decorations Nicole jacked from her rents and drinking the great punch spiked with dry ice to make it bubble and steam. The night ended with Tia doing some mad funny theatrical dancing. She's always good for a hearty laugh.
COSTUME PRIZES:
Lots of people did reprises of pervious years. MattyMat putting Jell-O in his hair in his Calvin and Hobbes costume gives him the craziest redo prize. Kim gets the most improved ribbon for her sexy cow gal outfit.
Julia's boyfriend, Mike, wins the prized trophy as the best character with his impersonation of Bill Clinton. I especially liked it when I found a stuffed crab and put it down his pants to give Slick Willy an STD.
The messiest costume award was no contest, Kate, with her Mardi Gras girl persona. Her drunkenness made her spill, her outfit shed feathers everywhere, and some accused her ass of taking out the speakers.
The most deceptive get up goes to volleyball Mike who had guys checking him out when he walked into the party dressed in drag.
Nicole was awesome vampire host with her blinking bling cross necklace to locate her, but I fear she played too much the host and didn't take enough time to just let go and go wild.
You can't get wackier then Dicke's daring dinosaur with a condom on the tail.
The throwback award was a tie between the Tron boys and the Mario Brothers.
Overall, the best costume goes to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory guy who blew a whistle and another person dressed as an Umpalumpa came in awaiting commands. If he can't fulfils the duties of the winner, the second prize will move up. Bret in a kid's ninja costume takes that honor.
Meanwhile if you wonder what I was, technically I was Amy even though she wasn't around to see it. Amy thinks I'm the devil and has appointed herself as my advocate so I went out as "The Devil's Advocate" fully equipped with the a devil puppet and business cards offering to buy people's souls.
The only costume I've ever done that was close as fun as being Amy was when I took a toddler's kangaroo costume, added two sets of sock em' punching gloves and went as the boxing kangaroo from Looney Tunes fighting my friends.
My fully function giant devil puppet that I named "Melof" was the hit of the party with his dancing and insults. Some accused him of stealing his bit from Triumph the Insult Comic dog from Conan, and Melof's response was, "What? Triumph, he is a very funny dog but he is only 10 years old. I'm two thousand years old!!"
I hate when I stop abruptly...
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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"Stitched with love from Sarah"
Once upon a magic kingdom, Sarah Goddess was gracious enough to hone her thespian theater skills to hand stitch an Ingio Monyoa costume for Halloween. Per my request, the goddess embroidered "Stitched with love from Sarah" on the inside pocket. Since that famed weekend of fencing, the costume reemerged with alterations to form a peasant look for Maria. This was later corrupted by Jackie and Elise to form a porno peasant look for their quest to create 18 sexxy pictures for James' is now legal 18th birthday. Like a phoenix rising from its ashes, the costume was reincarnated from my pile of used Halloween clothes again to create a Mexican costume for Brooke's Mexican themed party.
MEXICAN THEME?:
Though I ended up being the only person dressed up, there were several sombreros for people to wear, a tacos buffet, liquor-laced watermelon, and lots of alcohol to make everyone feel like festive Mexicans.
BIRTHDAY SHOTS:
Now I don't want to say Brooke drank a lot, but if someone took a sample of her urine, I think they'd find a lime in it. True to the theme, Brooke took my suggestion to take a tequila shot chased with a lime which I video taped on my digital camera.
"But wait, you didn't take a body shot!" Okay, Brooke agreed and downed another shot, this time taking it off of Anthony.
"Good job but you forgot to kiss him at the end silly!" Not to call upon the wrath of the Aztec god Coatlicue, Brooke chased the third shot within two and half minutes with a kiss and sealed her birthday fate.
CIRCLE OF DEATH: "Shit doesn't rhyme with log"
Now that the Bday girl was buzzing, we got into a group on the ground and played a card game entitled "Circle of Death". Our variation of the rules goes as follows:
First spread all the cards face down around a container (in our case it was a Kool-Aid powder can) so the cards overlap and form a circle. Everyone takes their turn, followed by the next person in the circle going counter-clockwise. On their turn, each person draws a card from the circle, does the necessary action described below, and then puts the card on the container with two corners hanging off the edge. If the player breaks the circle they must drink; also they must drink for each card that falls (if any) when they put their selected card on the container.
The Card Actions are as follows:
2-8 black->Drink, you drink the respective number of sips drawn, example a black 4 means four seconds of sipping
2-8 red->Distribute, shell out that number of sips to one or more player(s)
9->Sentences, The person who draws a nine must says a word. Each person afterward has to repeat the words said previously and add their own word to create a partial sentence until someone misspeaks.
10->Categories, example "types of vodka", then everyone has to name something unused that goes into the category until someone fails
Jack->Never have I ever, example "never have I ever kissed a girl" then everyone who has ever kissed a girl drinks. In the abridged version the drawer of the card comes up with one, whereas, in the extended version everyone takes turns in a circle to come up with one.
Queen->Questions, the drawer of the card must look at a person and ask them a question. That person must respond with a unused question posed to someone else until someone messes up
King->Ruler, drawer of this card negates any previous rules and can make a new rule (any limitations to rules should be stipulated before game play)
Ace->Social, everyone drinks
BE WARRY OF THE KING:
Of course, circle-of-death the game started out light with most people trying to make sure the bday girl had enough to drink. 30 seconds later, that goal was achieved and Kate and Brooke did the Mexican Hat dance in honor of Brooke being plastered. Soon Brooke reached "passed out" like status, but we have to give the girl lots of props; she amazed us all when we were on sentences, she rose from her grave to repeat the sentence and add a word properly.
Eventually the game escalated with the rules after the first King was drawn. The first painful rule was all girls drink when a red card is pulled. That got escalated to girls loose an article of clothing, which wasn't too bad when socks were coming off. Eventually it led to Amy in a bra hugging me for protection and Kate holding her bra unhooked in front of her chest. Since they were troopers, and some may say we put some cards back into play when the pile was knocked over, I thought it was appropriate to be a benevolent king and made the rule that girls had switch clothing with a guy which was a little easier when I picked the king.
WHERE DID BROOKE GO?:
For Brooke, the alcohol was so good it came back for an encore, by way of her stomach into the toilet. In the end, the infomercial marvel KABOOM was around to clean up. During the hours Brooke was hugging the John people were forced to pee off the balcony until Lauren, the neighbor, came by and we used her bathroom.
I WIN!?!:
During their shift of baby sitting Birthday Brooke who was praying to the Porcelain Mexican God, Amy and Anthony played "I win you loose". Basically this curtails two people declaring victory over the other until one messes up or busts up laughing. Even though Anthony had the best comment of "I've taken a blind taste test and 9 out of 10 people say you loose", Amy won in the video clip I made. I might also be voting for her just to give her mad props for being able to clean up the spilt salsa in the living room earlier so Anthony wouldn't notice. Of course I busted out laughing and gave up the ruse.
RECOVERY:
By the time Brooke rose again, a lot of people were gone, blitzed before midnight. We had some cake, opened her presents, but didn't eat the tiramisu that Amy made [damn, i love tiramisu!!]. I re-gifted a yellow Wal-Mart balloon my coworkers got me and printed out my famed birthday report which includes, what signs are you, what does your name mean, what happened on your birthday type info. Also I gave her a pimpin' Picardi key chain.
Happy Bday Brooke, and remember, all kewl people are born in October.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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HOMECOMING PARADE
Homecoming 04' once again swept by in a glaze of candy throwing, silly floats, and bands. The famed Hooter's and Players float didn't seem to show up and the random band playing for the local radio station was of no merit. Of course, we all know it's the Shiner's mini cars and the flaming jugglers that make the show. Also it's fun to cheer on your friends; Jerker the gymnast waved to me, I'm so special.
Munching on some pizza, we were on the corner of College Ave and Gartner for a while with Nicole's friends. Then we moved to meet up with Brooke, Ralf, and Kate by the Pollock Library for the most amazing spot, probably because of the frigid temperature which limited the spectators. Okay, maybe the view wasn’t as good as the year when Minka and I taught Jill how to climb a tree, and then left her up there to meet up with some friends. Jill was afraid to come down-lol. This spot was prime for getting things with little competition and the ego of Ralf to get attention. Soon the begging for stuff ended and we joined the parade behind the Blue Band until we broke free and went back home. Not to negative, but I think the parade this year was weak.
HOMECOMING BAR
After the parade the bars becomes one friend. Luckily it wasn't too crowded and our choice of Mad Mex turned out to be a good one because I ran into Lisa, Sexkitten, her bf Jeremy, Kim while chilling with Nicole's friends. I wasn't in the mood to drink, but if I'd have known the fun of the margaritas maybe I should. Above is a picture of my bar buddy Kim who got lit that night on just two. I probably should have stayed with her when Nicole wanting to go home early. Instead I went to walk Nicole home and noticed the line back in to Mad Mex was insane so I didn't even bother going back there.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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HAPPY BDAY TIA
Along with my mom’s fake birthday, today was Nicole's roommate, Tia’s, 22nd birthday. We went to my favorite restaurant in State College, Seoul Garden. In my years here, they've gone through three chefs and several variations of the menu, but still it's the house of “pork bugulki”, “be-bop-bim” and many other fun dishes I can't pronounce. I love that they give you free plate of several appetizers for the table, including “Kimchi”, with your meal. For the price, it’s so worth it. I’d pay triple.
Top 10 Reason Why This Was A Good Seoul Garden Adventure:
1) It is Seoul Garden silly; every time is a good time!
2) Nicole could order something she likes. Though I haven't found a menu item I don't like, we often went on Fridays when Nicole couldn't eat "meat" due to her strange orthodox beliefs, and she's not the biggest fan of fish, so this was a good day to go.
3) Small number of people so we weren't shoved upstairs to fend for water or wait too long.
4) I didn't have to go to the bathroom. For all its glories, and believe me its worth it, this great restaurant has the shadiest bathroom.
5) Dica wasn't here so it didn't rain. Also, since it didn't rain we didn't have a repeat of when the power went off and we had to eat by candlelight. That was fun, but the first two dishes I requested couldn't be made.
6) Case wasn't around to mooch off my food.
7) There was something new on the menu, a fish, and it was delish!
8) Nobody ordered a strange meal and was frightened by the fried egg on top. Wonder who that could be?
9) Unlike previous trips, Tia didn't go to other tables to try their leftovers to see what she wants.
10) It is Seoul Garden silly; every time is a good time!
Happy bday Tia
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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"Art is made to disturb. Science reassures. There is only one valuable thing in art: the thing you cannot explain." -Georges Braque
To confuse myself in art is a strange passion to me. When I get to meet an artist who will discuss their art, I'm in heaven. To me, good art is an expression of raw emotion, and great art is something that draws you to interact with it repeatedly.
Generally, I start with my reaction to the art and then try to guess what the artist was thinking, and continue on from there. My favorite artist is Wassily Kandinsky because it has this geometric "science seduces art" feel to it that reminds me of what I wish my soul looks like.
I have two pet peeves with art that moved me away from the business. First I hate pieces of art entitled "untitled". If I ever win the lottery, I'd open a gallery where an artist can't have a piece called untitled. In fact, if we ever find an artist showing a piece called "untitled" in another gallery, we'll hold the right to take down their piece and return it for 80% of the cost. NO, I'm not the obsessive easily irked type person so shut up!
My second problem with art is "the story". My art mentor told me to sell the story of the artist with a piece of art and you can make it worth much more. Then we did an auction for breast cancer and I told all these apparently persuasive stories. People were buying what I thought was crap just because it was a good story.
I wouldn't have been so bothered except a lot of the time I could tell people didn't really like a piece until I conned them into it with my true but bs emotionally stories. When the mentor said I had more of a knack than my friends, some of which were real artists, I knew if I didn't get out of the business I'd turn away from art forever.
ANYwho, today was a treat because I had the opportunity to go to RuchaCat's Patterson Gallery opening. Only when I got there, for one windless instant there was nobody but me. I felt like my friend, Neesha, who was told the fireworks on the 4th of July were for her birthday. RuchaCat's selection of pieces were colorful, and gave me that Fourth-of-July feeling of all the vibrant colors of her art around me. For a little while, my sure, slow heart took it all in, and I felt like Neesha, and all that beauty surrounding was just for me....Eventually, MattyMat came and we goofed around until RuchaCat showed. Abha made the most tremendous Indian treat called a spinach picorda. I'm not usually an Indian food fan, but this was good stuff.
I made everyone stand next to their favorite picture hoping there would be a best of the best, but finished with a two-way tie. One of RuchaCat's pieces was velcroed such that you could take off the pieces like a puzzle and try to reassemble them. When we took them off I was inspired and turned them into a person on the ground as seen above. Look I'm an artist too! Then we all got together to reconstruct the piece, which was a lot harder headache than it looks.
The door to an art room next door was left open begging us to investigate and goof around with. I made a skirt out of paper and put it on this doll and then stuck it next to this headless bird creature. What was really funny is that I came back the next day and found the skirt doll moved to the front of the room which meant that it was used as a piece that a class had to draw. I'm such a great artist people are copying my work!
Well if you get a chance, checkout RuchaCat's art, the ashes of her youth, and if you're rich, make the starving artist and offer and you can have an original.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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If things get better with age, then I'm approaching Magnificent. My favorite all time Steeler was Rod Woodson. Today I'm wore his jersey which is my age, 21 with a couple years of experience.
This year my birthday was on a Tuesday. I got the standard barrage of birthday emails, IMs, phone calls I didn't answer and such. Some think me rude, but my idea of fun on my birthday isn't talking on the phone, I'm a kinetic person. For the first time I worked on my birthday because my coworkers treated me to back yard burgers.
Nicole said she had crap to do so she ditched me, but when I came back she decorated my entire room with balloons and streamers. Using technology I stitched pictures of my room to make a huge flattened pic that you should check out. Granted one of the streamers came down in the middle of the night and spilt a cup of freezing water on the bed, but the thought was appreciated.
Following the recent tradition, I went to BK's for my birthday night. I was told to wait in the parking lot for Amy to drive to BK's. She arrived quickly but we played a joke on the others making them think she didn't show and I was looking for her and then ditching her. Mid-drive, my impetuous side took over and sent me to Wal-Mart where I bought a pumpkin.
At BK's Amy and I gutted and carved the pumpkin into a pirate (though most of the credit should go to Amy). I did go a little overboard and used a crowbar to lift the top and then randomly told someone to light the pumpkin on fire and spray OFF bug spray. It was bad ass. Amy found the "natural clitoris" I mean "natural citrus" Listerine in the bathroom along with porn magazines.
Rhetta made me a birthday omelet and surprisingly I didn't have a heart attack which should have been my wish. Instead my birthday wish was that I would die. Oh wait now that I've told you it can never come true--muhahahha. How do you think I became the Devil?
and remember, all kewl people are born in October.
Thanks to all that made my bday special.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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My birthday weekend is again thwarted by my family. Last year it was Arun's engagement, this year it's my sister's lesbian wedding. The ceremony was quick combination of Indian and American traditions with both types of garments all done in English.
In the hotel I put Nicole to work ironing while I played hosts to the guest that entered the hotel. Before the actual ceremony, I was tasked with making fire (maybe I am the devil) using some red streamers, a computer fan and light because real flames were not allowed. My little sister, Molly, got to be the ring bearer and I got to look pimp in my new suit instead of a tux walking down the wedding parade.
After the ceremony, I was the hit of the night with my crazy impromptu comical wedding speech to contrast my little sister's serious one. Nicole ended up with the ring boxes after Molly didn't need them in the ceremony, so at the dinner table I asked Nicole if it would be funny if I fake proposed to her.
I started with my speech thanking everyone including "the accident", I mean "surprise" that was Molly. Then I went into jokes about what my other cousins would say if they were telling the speech. My eldest cousin, Anoop, would ask my sister’s fiancé "Katie, before you join our family you have to tell us who's the greatest football team ever?" Katie happily replied correctly, "Steelers!!".
Then I said Anoop's little brother Arun would tell a funny joke because he's the comedian in the family. Here's my try. 'Well it was odd telling my coworkers and friends why I wasn't going to be around this weekend. I was going to a wedding but it’s weird.' "What's weird about it?" people would ask. 'Well it’s not a normal ceremony; there's something odd about the couple'.
"What?" their curiosity would query. 'Well my sister is marrying this girl Katie.' "A lesbian wedding?" 'Yeah, but that's not the weird part.' "Is it Katie?" 'No,' I'd respond, "She's great. She's a computer person and the warmest person you'd ever want for your sister." Frustrated by this point, they'd insist 'Well what is it? Tell us!' Finally, I'd whisper a confession to them, 'My sister's a “LAWYER”' (dun-dah ching).
Next I busted out my fake proposal going down on one knee, opening the box, and then saying "whoops it's empty." Of course I had to switch to sentimental. 'My cousin Kitty is the sentimental one. She'd say they're in a poetic love, and since it’s a lesbian love, it'd be a rainbow love. They say at every rainbow's end is every wish you'd want to make, and I wish you too would be happy forever.'
The DJ and crowd loved it so much they asked me back to do the toast and I pulled out my classic one I wrote with this girl Kelly for a play we did stealing from various other toasts. "Here's to the young, the beautiful, and the brave of heart; to love, laughter, and happily ever after. Here's to you."
Dinner was good and we got to stay at the table with Jason I think his name was. He's the heir to the Slim Jim fortune and his boyfriend was hilarious. Finally Nicole got to see all my family and their friend be nutty on the dance floor. Every table was equipped with disposable cameras so my job was to take pictures with them if people didn't take enough so they weren't wasted.
It was great seeing the giant Sid that is Kokilia's boyfriend and seeing her brother Kapil and his date who I knew in college. On the name tags were silver cows. I told Amy I'd get her something and think that's fitting since she has prize cows (mostly because I want to mock her for not bringing be back cheese from Wisconsin during her bday vacation.) Unfortunately we were tasked with the cleanup, which included dismantling the ceremony booth but then we got to go back and rest in a hotel.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
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STAY IN THE BOX EVIL CLOWN:
Normally Amy is the perfect woman; a women should be obscene and not heard, but never trust the advocate to keep her appointments. Amy went off on a school sanction adventure to Wisconsin to parade her prize cows in a show. She claimed she would return on her birthday with gifts for us (novel huh) so I prepared to surprise her with a giant 8 foot clown in her dorm.
I called her on her birthday to see if she was on route, only to get a voice mail. It hurt, the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall. Subsequently, Amy didn't come until a day later when she called us on the Volleyball court to come over after we were done playing.
OMIGOD you-had-to-be-there FUNNY:
The night knows what the afternoon never suspected. Warm hugs and greetings to Amy's mom began the reunion along with belated birthday congratulations, followed by a series of amusing you-had-to-be-there moments. I know you-had-to-be-there but I'm still going to try to delineate some of the events because I'm a jerk, and it was just so damn funny. Of course the conversations are just paraphrased.
Amy (to pChewy): Do you remember how you asked if they had trophies or ribbons at the cow show? I won a 4th place ribbon, can you believe that?
pChewy: (takes ribbon from Amy) Wow congrats. If only you were as talented as your cows.
Amy: Oh this is my mom.
pChewy: (After Amy's mom drops something, pChewy jokes) I see where you get it Amy!
Amy: So I couldn't find you any cheese pChewy. It doesn't exist.
pChewy: What?!! You were in Wisconsin. That's where the Packers are from. And you claim this cheese with holes in it doesn't exit, weak.
[We start talking about things Amy got for her birthday and then things on her desk.]
pChewy: (spinning Amy's ribbing around aimlessly, I comment toward a small item on her desk) What's that?
Amy: A thimble. I think I got it on vacation in Florida.
Amy's Mom: (pointing to Amy's "drinking" hat not knowing its significance): Where did you get that?
Amy: (starts mutters some excuse) umm...
[JUST THEN, the 4th place metal breaks off the ribbon I'm twirling and I catch it. Brooke noticed but I'm too ashamed to say anything so I start looking for something to fix it. Brooke can't help but begin giggling at my less then inconspicuous search. Amy thinks the laughter is because her mom is talking about the drinking hat and tries to cover up the devious purpose of the hat. Finally mom leaves.]
Amy: (to Brooke and pChewy) I can't believe you guys. I don't think it's that big deal about the drinking hat.
Brooke: (still laughing, points to pChewy) No, it was Pchewy.
pChewy: (by this time I ingeniously found a pin and fixed the ribbon but had to explain what happen): We weren't laughing about the hat; I broke your ribbon, but I fixed it, see.
Now if you didn’t laugh at that anecdote it’s okay because you-had-to-be-there; if you did, you need to stop living vicariously through me and get a life.
BIRTHDAY SHOT:
Amy brought back part of a bottle of Jose and could have drunk that for her birthday. For some reason I made her take a shot out of the thimble on her desk. Not just any shot, mind you, a shot of Scope which would be legal in the dorm unlike the alcohol. I guess I’m subconsciously a good Sumerian.
If you get a chance, check out the hilarious video of Amy being disgusted and finally running out of the room to spit it up the scope shot in the garbage can. It totally looks like Amy is taking some sort of wicked 3000 proof shot. Finally, to end the festivities we took the stuff around the room and Amy's presents to make some funny fashion moments, including me wearing her jacket and Amy sporting some major bling ear rings.
Oh well, happy birthday my dear advocate, and remember, all kewl people are born in October.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
