Black Friday

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SHOPAPHOBIA:
Like spiders to a flashlight, Black Friday frightened and dispersed the feeble in my family. Fearlessly, my little sister Molly and I met up with my cousin, Kitty, and her college roommate, Mandy, at Simons "Ross Park" mall. I miss my suburban center, which dwarfs the meager mall at Penn State like a shnowzer sitting next to an elephant. As a teen, you could label me a mallrat, constantly wasting time in search of video games, movies, electronics, coffee, CDs and the arcade. But to my defense, I tried to spend just as much time at boutiques in the city as the commercialized malls when transportation was available.

My cousin Kitty bullied me to open a credit card at “Banana Republic” so she could get an anorexic sized black coat at a discount. I was enamored by the puzzle store and all neat and creative thing they do, especially the mosaics where thousands of pictures make one giant picture. Inspired, I went online got some free software to create ones myself. Click Here for more mosaic pics.

At the mall, I learned my little sister Molly was one of those hot girls that received bounty without asking. She's such a tart. When we were at “Spensors” one of her peers made her gobble like a chicken in exchange for 25% off coupon. Molly adhered to the request, and we made Kitty put on this Rastafarian hat shown above, but we didn't buy anything. Finally, we went to “Eat n Park” to end the day. I got some iced chai from their extended menu-mmmmmm.

NEW PUTER:
After dinner, Molly and I went back home and watch "Mean Girls" and "Saved", super-great teen comedies. For once, Black Friday didn't seduce me to buy anything. That's probably because I'm broke, shelling out cash to purchase this new Ferrari laptop I'm using to type this blog. Finally, I have a working computer again and can be on aim (psubabbler) after work though I'll probably still only check email at work. It's always nice hearing from peps, especially if they find fun sites to visits like this game where you try not to fall down drunk. My high score is 61. Click Here to play game.

HOMEWARD BOUND:
Saturday I was feeling lazy so I just high-tailed back to State College not realizing this meant I couldn't watch the Steelers game at Casebeer's. This also meant no winter coat for me. Forty-five minutes from State College, the funniest thing happened at the gas station. Celery called me to request a ride home, and while rejecting her I set the gas pump to auto fill. It's supposed to stop itself, but didn't, leaving the passenger side of my car caked with petroleum and a puddle of wasted expensive gas on the ground. With no winter jacket, I was force to settle for a winter hat on my head to keep me warm while I spent the rest of the drive with my sunroof down to a Void dying of fumes.

Every time I go home I sing this rendition of a classic....
Country roads,
Take me home
To the place I belong.
Happy valley,
Home of joe-pa.
Take me home
Country roads.

Tis' all for now.

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Thanksgiving at Shipra's

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AN INDIAN-INDIAN THANKSGIVING
After filling myself with an authentic Thanksgiving food at Case's, my family headed to my cousin Shipra's place near the Pittsburgh Airport where I was born for our Thanksgiving gathering of family and family friends. Granted to say this occasion called for a lot of "Indian" food--hehe. It was one of those pot luck events where kids ate traditional Native American "Indian" turkey while the parents eat mostly Asian "Indian" food in a smorgasbord of yumminess.

ELECTRONICS TO THE RESCUE:
Of course being the computer fanatic I whipped out my pockets electronics to keep me amused including my ngage computer game cell phone, my digital camera, a bag of Xbox games, and Super Joy joystick console. The Super Joy is a hack console that has 12000 Nintendo games embedded in one of the controllers. In truth, there are probably only 200 games because they take a game like Track and Field and split it up to each event and call them several games, and then replicate games with their Korean, Japanese, and Chinese versions. Still it's sweet for the price ($30), convenience, and comes with two joysticks and gun for Duck Hunt fun.

My oldest cousin's wife Riju, who is expecting a child, seemed to get the biggest kick out the games, especially the shooting ones. Being the benevolent type, I brought a treasure trove of Xbox games for my cousin Shipra, who told me she was happy with just “Dead or Alive”. It was enough of a challenge to try to beat her sister Kitty who randomly presses buttons and wins.

BOARD GAME FUN:
My cousin Kitty had an extra special Thanksgiving because I finally gave her an anime, "Blue Seed", which Mikeypooh got her for Xmas last year--whoops. The anime was a TV series in Japan so it'd be too long to watch that day. Instead we played board games so more people could be involved in the fun. First, we played the original Therapy games (one of my favorite board games which I own the sequel TherapyII), but with the number of family friends at the party, Cranium was more sensible.

Unfortunately, I left Cranium in the car year round. Now the clay has turned to a rock. Like Humpty Dumpty, the clay couldn't be saved even with the power of water, so we skipped the clay sculpting categories.

It was hilarious watching my little sister try to do charades and listening to all our tone deaf humming of songs. The guys verses girls left the guys winning repeatedly, mostly because we rolled better. I peg Anisha as the most valuable player for the girls team and declare myself the king of the boys.

Men are number 1!!

Happy gobble gobble day to all.

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Casebeer Reunion

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PONG AND PART:
Part of the splendor of my job is knowing they'll let me off early before Thanksgiving after a Ping Pong match. Almost daily at 3pm we play the best of three confined ping pong at work for the world tag team champion belts. If one team wins the first two games, a winner-takes-all bonus battle for the “leather belts” occurs. The champion belt is a bootleg wresting belt, whereas the leather belts only exist in the mind’s eye.

My coworker, anshuaron, and I have dominated mostly due to his prowess, but on this pre-Thanksgiving day game we wanted to treat our 'fans' to something special. This led to our demise. The "special" moment was when anshuaron walloped our boss Jim smack in the face to give him a little bit of the reddish Rudolph look for the holidays.

DEATH OF THE AUTOBON:
The drive to the burgh was near record time if you subtract the 40 minutes of bumper-to-bumper inching traffic to escape Port Mitlida. Damn, that was grueling.

Since there was nothing going on at home in north Pittsburgh, I dialed my best friend Case in Shadyside to find a mini reunion at his parent's house. His sister Teresa, her husband Raj, and their kid were coming up for Thanksgiving from Chicago. I haven't seen Case's sister since before she had her first kid and she is expecting a second one.

To get to Case's family home, I had to forgo the fun twists and turns of my usual exit, and instead go cruising at high speeds down the famed McKnight road. Then travesty hit, and it hit hard. They say things change when you grow old. First you forget names, and then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down. This was worse than all that.

The last stretch of McKnight road outward bound from the city is an area we dubbed the autobahn, a pristine a stretch of navigateable road where cops were visible so racing your friend in a multilane road was safer. The MAN destroyed this legacy by adding a new pointless traffic light.

MEETING THE WHITE HALF INDIAN:
Broken hearted from the loss of my autobahn, I met up with Case's family. I finally met his nephew, Adian (not spelt right) and greeted Teresa who is expecting another kid that Case wants to call Kimo, after the Steelers player Kimo von Oelhoffen. I've always wanted to name my kids Violet Case Gupta and Justin Case Gupta, but suggested calling Teresa's kid Mr. Big to continue the Sex in the City theme of naming the first child Adian, which purported is also Indian for fire but my sources say it's Gaelic.

Speaking of Indian, Yes, Case's sister married a 100% Indian named Raj Marvah (no relation to Naveen). Purportedly their love created Adian, pictured above. Is it me or does this boy not look half Indian to you? Still, the kid amused me with his going back to the fridge repeatedly to give everyone pop. What was more peculiar was Teresa said we couldn’t watch Aladdin because it has swords in it. Also, we couldn't say words like "guns" or "sword" because it'd somehow be detrimental to the child's development, crazy huh?

After some delicious ham, shrimp, and pie, Case, his brother who we call Beer and I chewed the fat outside until Beer choose lameness and went home. I did learn Beer has my winter jacket I left last year.

TRADITIONAL THANKSGIVING

Thursday morning sent me to Case's for Thanksgiving first. I just wanted to say hi, but ended up staying for food, delicious, authentic American dinner. It was so damn good, Case's mom is amazing. Before the turkey comatose set in, I bid the Casebeer's adu and hightailed to my rents.

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

KT Secret Niagra Bday

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Dicke the sweetheart wanted to celebrate his girlfriend's 20th bday, and since KT can't drink at the bars in the USA, he planned a lovely trip north of the border to o' Canada. Overall it was pretty kewl except that I didn't get to gamble.

Top 10 Things About The Secret Trip to Canada

1) Niagara on TV==>When we got back to "the states" and flicked on the TVs, lo and behold "The Nanny" was in Niagara. She was trying to sucker her rich boss onto the Maid of the Mists boat ride to seduce him to propose in the engagement capital of the world. Freaky, huh?

2) KT stays with Dicke==>Do you believe in curses? I used to think there was a birthday curse with Dicke. Last time he had a girlfriend she dumped him through email on his birthday. This year he launched a shredded wet napkin wad into his girlfriend's eye at his birthday dinner, but she still stayed with him. Now this weekend her birthday has been celebrated and Dicke remains steadfast. The curse is reversed!! Hang onto this girl Dicke huh!

3) Phil permission slip==>Last time I saw the falls was in June after Pete's pimpin' wedding dance in Buffalo. We decided to visit since we were in the vicinity, but on the car ride to Canada , KT curiously turned to Dicke and asked, "Honey, are you allowed to go to Canada?"

"--Damn!" Dicke exclaimed as he realized that with his security clearance he wasn't allowed to leave the country without informing them; subsequently we viewed the falls from the American side. Come to think about it though, we were in the Canadian waters when we did the Maid of the Mists boat ride. Rebels huh?

4) Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable?==>named after that "Model General" jingle which was brilliantly preformed by Wacko from Animanaics, this quizzical game is a simple twist on twenty questions. One person pictures something in their mind's eye while their mates try to guess with yes-no questions. The first question queries the category, Is it an animal? Is it a vegetable? Mineral? and if the answer is no, your turn is forfeited to the next mate in line....

I apparently picked hard ones, flamingo, bats, and eagles. People get confused by a bird that doesn't fly or a mammal that does; perhaps I am due some fault, apparently, eagles aren't blue, but after America's propaganda genetic core gets to them they will be red-eyed, white-feathered with blue mains, rest assured.

Overall, it's a nifty challenge to teach people not to jump to conclusions. It made a road trip triumphant joy playing with Nicole, Steph and her boyfriend on the way up to o' Canada. The ESPN highlight to me was when Steph chose "Dicke" as the "thing" and the question "Can it be found in Pennsylvania?" arose. The coy reply was, "Yes, well not now because it's in New York". Pretty silly huh?

5) Slip, Slide, Suds, Sauna, and Splashes==>I didn't get to gamble but I did enjoy my other favorite thing to do on vacation, hotel sauna. It was a dry sauna which was meak, but the Jacuzzi was nifty, and get this, they had a SLIDE going into the 4 meter pool! Dave Wyman wins outright for the biggest splash and the daring headfirst, upside-down type shenanigans. --Also the pool was half indoor / half outdoor, but we didn't get to experience the joys of the outdoor portion due to the season. That just means we can go back in summer huh?

6) Hotel Overload --Immediately when we got to the hotel our presence was known to the staff. I had to do some nifty Knight Rider driving to get a parking spot, but it was probably all of us standing outside of the hotel with our stuff that didn't help our cause of sharing a room. The manager didn't buy Dicke's unconvincing ruse that some of us were staying in another hotel. Since the room was oddly shaped, Mr. and Mrs. Dave Wyman got their own room where Nicole and I stayed in exchange for buying them dinner at the Keg. Good deal huh?

7) Shoe buffer -- What fine hotel doesn't have one? Me being on-shoe, I was most happily impressed with the shoe appliance. Thusly, I preceded to use the shoe buffer for its many uses, foot massager, waking Nicole up in the morning, you know the usual. Does that give anybody a hint for what I want for Christmas huh?

8) Behind the falls--Yet again, I didn't see the night lights on the falls, but I did go behind the falls. It's much overrated and pitiful compared to Maid of the Mist rides in the summer, but it did allow me to make some funny videos of Nicole and I dancing by the falls. So if Kodak moments control your life and Hallmark seduces your wallet from you every season, succumb to the allure of Behind The Falls; otherwise try the other joys of the falls like the arcades, wacky museums or haunted houses. With THE BAbbLER around who needs tour agents huh?

9) Arcade--You lika the arcade, yeah I lika the arcade, the arcade iz goooood. You got to love a bar that's incorporated with an arcade where you get the advantage of the exchange rate to play next generation arcade games. I fell in love with a soccer game where you had to kick a ball connected to the machine to simulate your player, and was impressed by the boxing game where I wore gloves and video cameras censored my movements. I also played a lot of kiddy games to get tickets. The first night we claimed our prize of rings for all the girls, while the second night it was kazoo blowers for all! (i miss Playland :( ). I'm so giving huh?

10) Drinking & Dining--We tried to rekindle our love for a mixed frozen drink that we had in spring break in Niagara before, but couldn't remember the name of drinks. Instead, we consumed a group shot of kamikazes compliments of Dicke at this bar that was weaker than my thumb wrestling skills.

Apparently elevator advertising work, because it convinced us to go to Dennys which was priced like a fancy restaurant (never again). The culinary best goes to "The Keg" where I got a delicious mango mixed drink and sword fought Dave Wyman while dining of fine blue rare steak! Dicke's crew was troublemakers, breaking a drink which was promptly replaced by the kewl waitress.

The most amusing dining award goes to Burger King. On the way there I thought we were driving and departing quickly, so I ordered a shrimp salad and just downed the shrimp and saved the salad to apparently rot in the hotel. On the return trip there was a random old guy hitting on KT's friend doing the most outrageous stand up routine and harmonica playing at the Burger King.

--introductions....knock-knock; who's there -you forgot already?
--Your eyes are like Marylyn Monroe, one on each side.
--Your legs are like petals, bicycle pedals
Funny stuff live, huh?

So another fine trip to Canada without meeting my doom!!! Doom, what the hell is that about?

BONUS BLOG: ...years ago I went to the most accurate fortune teller on the beaches of South Carolina. I was amazed that the lady came up with more specific fortunes than generated ones, probably because I challenged her with humor and skepticism. Also, it was kind of cute that she keyed off my persona to the point that she did the reading with comic book analogies for me. I was 16 and everything she predicted has so far come true, including injury's to my friend on that trip, death of my grandfather, getting into the first college I applied, and describing generally, but eerily precisely, my romantic infatuations from high school to college.

She described me as the joker with 5 cups of wine, --3 full, 1 drunk, 1 spilt over and said that my life would be overwhelmed with joys if I learned to focus on full glasses of the future and not the cups that have been drunk or spilt. The most poignant prediction was her prediction that I would meet what she called as my kryptonite, an artist that will have more energy and wit than me. The only 2 things left is my marriage in Vegas and my "DOOM" in Canada. She said it wasn't death, because there's no doom in death, but it was defiantly doom, but wouldn't elaborate further.

Once again, I tempted the fates and survived, huh!

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Food at Cafe Laura

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~Bonus Thursday Blog~

WHAT IS CAFE LAURA?:
Sexkitten invited me to an elegant Italian dinner she was hosting for her class on campus at Cafe Laura. Originally we were scheduled in October where I could asked her sister Paula why she was being billed as a Spanish model when in fact she is Hawaiian (or if you believe her parents, 100% Italian; Yeah right, "Alu" is not Hawaiian, please girls!!). Unfortunately, that day was overbooked so we got shoved to today. Of course I might have possibly, per chance, with a slip of the mind, forgotten to tell Amy about the postponement-muhahahaha, maybe Amy is right; I am the devil.

DINNER BELL RING RING RING:
Genny originally didn't want to grace us with her presence sighting of her picky taste in food as an exuse (she doesn't like green foods), so I asked Carson to join us. Then Genny reconsidered under pressure from my advocate so we asked our table be resized.

HAPPY BELATED BAbbLER BDAY:
As most people know, nobody has ever successfully surprised me on my birthday, but Amy delivering a belated birthday card with CD of pics and videos today came close. Had it come tomorrow, a full month after my birthday, then it would have been rude, but coming today made me feel like I was getting a bonus birthday dinner. Thanks Amy.

The card was kind of pimp too, and saucy. I didn't believe the hottie nurse in the pic was Amy until close inspection. Was it her devious plan to make me smile with glitter upon first impression, just to curse me later to clean it up ever time I walk by as it sheds in my room? Maybe Amy is a good devil's advocate, she at least looks the tart, I mean looks the part.

THE ART OF FINE DINING:
How does one order when they are the great BAbbLER? First mention you love tiramisu. Then pick an ethnic soup, Italian wedding soup on this festive occasion. Next, mention you love tiramisu, followed by selecting the craziest entree you can't pronounce. In fact, be a pimp and when it arrives offer it to the indecisive girl at the table next to you so she can enjoy the unpronounceable dish too. Finally, fold up the dessert menu so only the word "tiramisu" is visible, and hand that to the smiling waitress. Finally, send the girls to stalk the waitress to give her the tip directly; otherwise the money purportedly goes to the class fund.

REFLEXTION:
I can resist everything except temptation; mmmm tiramisu. The dinner was exquisite. What a pity it isn't illegal. The conversation with Brooke, Kate and Carson was lively. We taught Genny how to eat Italian food by curling the noodles on the spoon, and Amy graced us with some of her personal fashion show with the napkin bib look, shown above.

Bon appetite for now, I'll look forward to the day when I can visit Sexkitten after college to see what kind of eats I can engulf wherever she gets a job.

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Angus Giving

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ANGUS GIVING:
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps. Today I'm glad I did. The escape from the asylum was well worth it for Angus pre-thanksgiving. Thanksgiving always reminds me of that lame joke from grade school...

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? Pilgrims! [mayflower-hahahaha]

So it seems there's a tradition for pre-thanksgiving dinner at PSU before everyone goes home for thanksgiving. This year and last, Nicole's friends all got together at Angus' for a potluck. First prize goes to whoever made the funky dessert I had 3 servings of-mmm. If they can not fulfill the duties of the winner, Tia's second place dish will assume the responsibility. Kudos also goes to Monica because she brought the classic pumpkin pie and whip cream. Nicole made butter with some corn for flavor and I bought thanksgiving cups on the way there. The cups were fall festive because there was a shortage of cups at the yuppie Wal-Mart.

PETEY GIVING:
Before Angus took over the realms, Petey self elected himself Prince of Thanksgiving. Though his actions may be far from the Puritan ideal of the people from the Mayflower, his undergrad in Boston must have allowed him to ingest the atmosphere of New England making him a Turkey God (not to be confused with the Turkey bowl serial killer). I will never forget him wrestling the turkey in the bathtub at his place setting up for the first of two thanksgiving with Petey.

CASE GIVING:
Even when I was an undergrad, those many years ago, we followed the pre-thanksgiving tradition. There was this girl in our volleyball class we called "Laughy" who never had yams. Can you believe it? She was a food scientist and hadn't had the most common thanksgiving staple? Case and I took this as incentive to use the free turkey we got from the local grocery store to and have our own pre-thanksgiving dinner at our place in Caulder commons. It was a small group inviting Melissa
and Minka and few vball friends. The four interesting things happened :

1) Everyone was damn impressed with Case's turkey cooked upside-down.
2) Everyone other than me mocked his mash potatoes for being liquidity (which this thanksgiving we learned was whipped potatoes not mashed, but was still weaker than his mom's version).
3) Nobody was injured in matchy-matchy, smashy-smashy, or sock fires**[see below for descriptions].
4) Laughy thanked us for Thanksgiving but we forgot to put out the yams. Laughy, next time you're in the lab trying to make the next best yogurts, try some yams in the recipe; if anything just so you can try them.

LENA GIVING??
Angus is graduating, so whose going to take over next year?....My prediction is Lena, but we'll see.

BONUS BLOG (Pchewy games corner)

**sock fires**--It turns out all socks made or sold in the USA is flame retardant. This means if you're roomie sitting in the living room with his socked feet on the table, you can walk by with your zippo and light it on fire. Keep a few things in mind. This works better if they're wearing shorts or jeans because in theory you could light their pants on fire, but I've never seen that happen. Similarly anything else around could light on fire but that's unlikely too unless you're a fool. Thick socks work the best, especially the standard white Wal-Mart socks. The more fuzzies the better, so new socks or very old socks are like sock fire virgins or prostitutes, and they make the biggest blaze. The fire will light the fuzzies and then extinguish leaving a warm feeling on the foot. An desired effect would be a slightly unpleasant odor in the air. Try it out on yourself if you like, and ask anybody I know like Julia if it works. Enjoy.

**matchy-matchy**--In its essence, this is a simple game to waste time that is only fun as a challenge or amusing if you have a roommate like Heverly who hates indoor fire and has to stomp on it. The idea of the game is easy. Open a pack of matches so the matches are exposed and put them in the center of the table. Each player gets their own match book. In turn, they flick a match at the table hoping to ignite the center pack.

The challenge is the way you flick the match. Don't just light the match and throw it, that's too easy. Take the match and place the tip of the match between your index finger and the black flint part of the match box. Then flick match parallel along the black flint part as though the match was a plane and the flint was the runway. If you do it quickly enough, when you let go of the match, it should ignite and hurl itself off the match box towards the goal. When you hit the match box in the middle the whole thing should ignite in a blaze of triumph. Practice & Enjoy!!

**smashy-smashy**--What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey, or Case after a game of smashy-smashy.

Finally a game for the bold, bored or blitzed. The goal of smash-smash is beautiful in its simplicity. The sole goal is not to break the glass beer bottles as you throw them somewhere. Pick a target and throw turn by turn. Add some simple padding like a pizza box if necessary. This game works best if you have a kitchen type area to throw. It's especially amusing if you play with all of your roommate except one. Then that one can comes home later and step on the glass. You gotta feel for Case, and love smashy-smashy.

To end another joke, hopefully a grade school one you don't know.
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?

--Their AGE

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Rucha and Abha's Indian Appetizers

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FOOOOOOOD!!, THE CHALLANGE:
I dub thee day o yum. For breakfast, coworkers brought bagels, yum. For lunch, I went to Korean Buffet, all you can eat and Dim Sum, double yum. Then when I returned to work Cathy created a holiday weight challenge to encourage everyone not to dig your grave with your own knife and fork, what fun? I pledged seven pounds figuring I wouldn't give up Turkey Day for anyone. I was going to gain at least ten pounds eating Papa Johns over the Steeler's football season, so if I can keep up with those traditions and still loose weight, a miracle be done.

TEMPTATION:
To immediately challenge the weight challenge was RuchaCat's invitation for an Indian appetizer party. Her motivation was to prove to her rents she could accomplish the culinary feat, anybody surprised? RuchaCat is the same girl who spent years being a vegetarian just to prove she could do it; meanwhile, I have repeatedly proven I am addicted to nothing except dirotoes which I've consumed fortnightly since I was twelve.

COMMENTS ON INDIAN CUISINE:
I'm far from a fanatic connoisseur of Indian food. I would choose pirogues over "porontas" any day of the week, but found it in my heart to accept the free food. When I was young, the ethnic food would prompt me to curl around the drain under the bathroom sink hiding in the darkness where I couldn't be found. The special smells in this hiding place were exponentially more pleasant than those comings out of the kitchen. If you think bar smoke saturates fabrics, try bathing in the potpourri of an Indian kitchen. To me, it's like fish. I like the taste but hate the smell, which is odd because taste and smell are physiological closely connected.

Nowadays most Indian foods are too sweet that I nickname the snacks "gelatinous diabetes" or "liquid hypertension". Given the general aversion, it is surprising to most that there are any foods Indian foods I enjoy, "naaan bread", "spicy chicken curry", "cheese puneer", almond mango shakes, and "kulfee" (all of which taste better than they sound or look, and 10 times better than I can spell).

INDIAN FOOD FACEOFF
For these rare treats, Amit's mom is with little competition the best Indian cook I know. She puts restaurants to shame, but among the ranks of the youth is a glimmer of competition. Abha's mouth-watering spinach "pikordas" where so sensational I had to pause and swallow to slow my salivating imagination. In no exaggeration, she instantly soar to my fav foods list. But that doesn't give her the right to yell at MattyMat and I for trying to take more than our share. -Abha's going to make one ruthless mommy.

In her stylish clothes RuchaCat contributed to the menu most valiantly with some yummy appetizers and desserts too. To her I say "wonderfulrific" and hope she gets the allusion to the inside joke. Both girls provided a bonus to the food and fun by serving sparkling drinks to enhance the atmosphere.

REACTIONS FROM THE CROWD:
Hard work paid off and from what I gathered almost everyone enjoyed the treats. All this arduous effort didn't help poor Vivian the vegan though. Her beliefs kept her from eating much so she was left to deep throat the cool whip to our amusement.

At first it was funny seeing Alice. I was forced to answer Alice’s call looking for directions with clueless answers of 'I'm not sure what apartment this is and people are busy', leaving me outside to be play a lame duck version of Marco Polo until we triangulate each other’s position by the yellow dumpster outside. The whole evening Alice seemed pleasant enough, but if this day was a movie, she would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Small Asian Girl." Sometimes that girl needs to go crazy in front of other people so I’m not the only one that says “I told you so” when she goes on a murderous rampage.

CAN ANYONE MAKE A DESCION PLEASE?
After our minds gained control of our bellies to prevent further indulging, we numbed out minds with VH1 highlights until we finally made a decision of indecision. We'll go to the hookah lounge. We’ll try it out and leave if we don't like it. We dashed to my car in the rain where the Indians and non-Indians separated until I almost nailed the other person's car with my lazy cock-eyed parking to the Hookah Lounge. After a playful adventure to the Mac machine with Abha's little sister, we finagled a group discount to the Goth DJ night at the hookah lounge.

GOTH HOOKAH FUN:
I only recognized a few songs and was mildly amused by the others who watched with some wonder at the industrial way of dancing. In the attempt to blow smoke hole, I got my first hookah buzz which caused me to apologize to RuchaCat who I always teased for getting lit by smoking tobacco filtered though water.

Man, it's hard to admit I was wrong, especially to RuchaCat cuz we have that competitive, argumentative, to the point of irrational, type relationship. Still as the night went on we heard several songs. I was yelled at for moving the couch which is apparently taboo. Eventually, we lost the flame to the candle and over the mild conversations, I realized something. I WON because RuchaCat fell asleep on the chair. It was amazing to see.

YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE:
Granted RuchaCat probably didn't know there was any "staying awake" challenge because she probably had no clue how odd it was for me to see her asleep. For as long as I can remember I've always been the hyperactive one in the group. It was always me who could outlive anyone if they were interesting things to do. As a child, I'd sneak downstairs after bed time and watch prime time tv without being sleepy until the late show was on and I'd fall asleep to be picked up and put in bed by my dad. RuchaCat was the first person I met who could repeatedly stay up longer than me her freshman year and it was mind-boggling.

EXCUSES:
I'd blame her soothing back massages, or joke that her company was so lame it was sleep induced, but it was probably the opposite. She was fun to argue with, creative and playful, and exhausted me. I thought myself defeated until spring break. Mono e mono the challenge was on and I destroyed her!! In retrospect, it turns out she always had cat naps during the daytime to help her. When we had days upon days of simultaneous activities during spring break, I effortlessly outlasted her and finally saw her sleep just like I did today.

I think it was Voltaire that said man often forget how beautiful women sing. Along those lines I say man often forget the beauty of a sleeping girl, the sacred lullaby of her breathing, the visual splendor of the picture of peacefulness, and the promise of the hope she dreams. Maybe that's why my favorite artist piece of RuchaCat's that hangs under my foldout bed is of a person sleeping under the vibrant sun, (then again, it could be because the person looks like a turkey too).

Since I somehow ended on a more philosophical note, here's a bonus lesson in Pchewyism. It comes from a snippet of conversation with Vidhi I had today that has been cleaned up a bit:

A LESSON IN PCHEWYISM....
In this scene, psubabbler says something, and then insults with a more brutal version of the truth which Vidhi commends as honesty...

Vidhi: finally a grain of truth
psubabbler: truth doesn't come in grains...it is either all there or a perversion or illusion
Vidhi: HAAHHAA.. Perversion.. and illusion
Vidhi: as if they were 2 separate things
Vidhi: beautiful
psubabbler: According to pchewyism: a prevision is when someone changes the truth to deceive you, whereas an illusion is when you listen wrong, make excuse, or change what you hear to lie to yourself and form an illusion
Vidhi: hahahaah
Vidhi: so an illusion is a perversion u do with yrself

Now it wasn't like RuchaCat was snoring in the Hookha lounge. Was she eye-closed relaxing, or was she awake? Was my whole victory just an perversion? Even if I won, after the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box, simillarly in life all men end up in the same box...a casket.
Oh well, sweet dreams Kryptonite.


Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Anthony's Cook in

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ANTHONY'S COOKOUT:
The world is full of willing people, some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. Without the Great AussieMike to create the gourmet meals, Anthony decided to step up and invited a few people over for some good eats. Graciously, I decided to accept the invitation and dine. Not only did Anthony pick the prefect food, but he had the perfect helpers, a bunch of women folk doing the dirty work. Poor Nicole had to study, dine, and dash, but hey, she got a free meal.

If you check out the pictures they're amusing. Anthony put Lauren's hair on Zach and made him look like an eighties rocker with a groupie. Kate and Brooke felt obliged to steal the camera to take a self portrait. You have an oddly amusing picture of Genny downing a spaghetti strand, and a couple of pictures of Amy which make you think she's doing a strip tease but is in fact trying to kick me. I was too busy weighting myself down to take too many pics.

Overall I think Anthony would have made AussieMike proud. We miss you mate and can't wait til we can use your digs in aussieworld.

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Kim's Birthday Bowling Nov 04

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Kim Birthday

TODAY'S BROADCAST: A LIFETIME OF BOWLING….the neglected sport.

Bowling parties aren't just for 5 year olds; it's for Kim's birthday too!!

PROGRAM TEASER: Do you remember your first bowling party? Flashback to that iniTial dash in a mad rush to find your favorite green-blue colored ball that wouldn’t cripple your twig sized fingers. Then remember mocking your friends who were too slow and inept and had to settle for the dusty brown one named Fred with the cockeyed holes. WHAT LOOSERS, right?

SHOW BEGINS: What I liked the best about the infant age of bowling was the inhibition and the mass experimentation. How slow can you roll the ball without guttering? Who can maximize curve like the pros? Between the legs backward for a laugh anyone? The silly games we play...
BEGIN FLASHBACK:
Kid Bowler 1: I bet you can’t ricochet the ball off both bumper lanes.
Kid Bowler 2: Okay, there. Damn. Yeah well, I double dare you to throw two balls at once!
Kid Bowler 3: I'll do it...STRIKE!...Now, I double dog dare to you to use that ball cleaning machine. If you mess it up, it will steal your hair right out of your scalp. Then it shines your head like Mr. Clean, and then you'll become a freakish serial killer that strikes on Friday the 13ths who cleaves the heads of bowlers who bowl three strikes in a row and replaces their heads with turkey’s tops like a new Hindu God.
Kid Bowler 4: mmmm Turkey aggggg.
END FLASHBACK:

…But soon enough, with age comes the wisdom to deceive. Leaving you as the mentor, you must coach the young gunners on how to play:

THE BAbbLER (age 11): “You never bowled before, awe it’s easy. Line up with the center pin, pull back your dominate hand, and glide forward. Finally, release the ball close to the ground and don’t forget to follow through. Make sure you don’t knock all of them down, or they cheat you out of your second ball! Finally, glance at the score and see what you got. Nobody really knows how its calculated, but see if you can beat me--muhahahaha”

Gradually the game morphs into completion, boys verse girls, you verse your best friend, and more elite goals like breaking 100, 150, 200, or bowling the triumphant turkey (3 strikes in a roll) and surviving the Hindu serial killer. Personally, I never bowled a turkey out of fear. I did once barely beat 150 in miracle game in completion with this girl Kelly (who ended up wining the best of three match, but we all know she was juicing).

Still, the essence of the game was unfettered; it’s simply an excuse to waste time with your comrades. Do you remember the tireless thrills of all night glow-in-the-dark bowling? Even if you still sucked like me, you could always shoot for the automatically definitive victory, bowling an exact 69. LOL, we were a always a mature bunch.

COMERICAL BREAK 1: For some reason I was told I had to add the story of my first kiss to this tale o’ bowling because it happened on the way back from all-night bowling; Personally, I think I’ve already gone on enough tangents so let's do this quick.

Pimpin Pchewy: Omigod, please tell me you don’t have the Little Mermaid tape in this collection.
Girl: Oh, I’ll take that to mean you want to hear it. Gee, I never fingered you as a closet fan. Is there something else I don't know about you? Are you Gay?
Pimpin Pchewy: Oh you’ll pay, (**tickle tickle.**)
Girl: (**giggle giggle**)
Background: [Suddenly, that song with the chorus “kiss the girl” plays. In the age where they try to blame rap for getting kids to kill each other, Marylyn Manson for getting kids to kill themselves, few ever talk about how Disney leads to sexual activity. The music made me do it, my first open mouth kiss.

ANOUNCER: Now back to the regular scheduled program, a time progression of the lifetime of bowling, the neglected sport.

Eventually the adolescent era wanes as your friends covet their driver's licenses. That gained freedom transforms the bowling adventure to a random ~I can’t think of anything else to do~ occasion. You take the game for granted, and before you know it, the EVIL that manifests as "Bed Bath and Beyond" comes by and levels your childhood bowling alley to sell over-commercialized trendy bath merchandize to all the yuppies in the tri-county area.

COMERICAL BREAK 2: I had a dream I threw a bowling ball down toilet ball alley in that store in protest. All the husbands joined me to lead a glorious revolt until Bed Bath and Beyond announced a super-super-beyond sale and the excited women dragged their husbands away only to leave this scary butch woman manager to come up to me saying "Okay Trouble maker, now you get to find where the "beyond" in bed bath and beyond is! Take em’ away boys".

She ordered two large men to throw a toilet bowl plunger onto my running-the-other-way arse, tugged me to the ground, and dragging me into the darkness somewhere screaming, "Help me, anybody, please. I just wanted to bowl again, is that asking so much? Okay I'll pretend I like bath ware. Just let me go. Damn you, Damn you all...Hindu Turkey Serial Killer, avenge my disappearance!!"

SHOWS CLOSING REFLECTING COMMENTS:

Pchewy: "Too bad I'm going to Canada for KT's secret bday party or I'd be able to go drinking with Kim on Friday. She promised me a rain check which I most defiantly will cash, because without Kim I would have forgot bowling. "

Bowling will never be power sport like football or volleyball, or even a special sport like Mini-golf or board games, but the aroma of the bowling alley will always recall good memories that remind one of all we often take for granted. Cheers to all the moments in life that never get the lime light.

That’s all for now…
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Celery's 21 Birthday Groove

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY Celery!!: Our good friend Celery (a.k.a. Anuja don't be a G-hater) finally turned 21.

MIDNIGHT: ~She actually looked like a girl~
Her gal pals cornered her, dressed her up like a classy hooch that'd screw anything with a penis and a pulse, and paraded her to Player's Nite Club. There, Celery got both her bifday-drunk-groove on and her sick-dance-groove on to the delight of the spectators. She finished the night by taking Money-Shot Mandy home, who was later quoted saying "She gave me an infection!!" and complained that Celery was like a typical guy, not even remembering her existence the next day, leaving Money-Shot Mandy to do the dreaded walk of shame. Go Celery!! How proud are we!

DINNER: ~Man I look like a bad ass mofo in the black light!!~.
I met up with Celery during the birthday night where she gathered her friends to have a birthday dinner of Indian cuisine (and some pokey sticks for her grossed out roomie) at a friend's place located at ??? --well let's just say Celery kept changing the room number of the place but I made it there eventually.

It kind of felt like it was Vivian's birthday party because we were told we were not allowed to eat until she arrived. In retrospect we probably didn't need 5 cakes. We only finished the one, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to present the half Steelers / half Eagles cake that was leftover from food Friday [PS: STEELERS DESTOYED THE EAGLES WHO WERE UNDEFEATED THIS WEEKEND].

Recap: It was a fun atmosphere of cake smearing, me looking like a bad ass in the black light bouncing to tunes, and a lone group shot of some liquid poison. I gave Celery 21 random things from my room. My favorite gift was someone who gave Celery the green jacket which she wore savagely, unlike the sick victory secret bikini I got her previously that she lacked the confidence to wear. Sorry RuchaCat, you are not 21 yet, so we ditched the yougins and went a drinkin'....

DRINKING: ~it hurts when you can't get into bars and you ARE 21~
We christened the night with a trip to Sports Café so Celery could get her hands blackened with the X that marks a birthday celebration. We ended the night with large margaritas from Mad Max. Then we headed home early because Celery's friends are WEAK, whining about the havoc last night's partying placed on their tiny puny souls. Of course the Evil One was there, but being the great person I am, I put up with her for my dear sweet Celery.

The highlight of amusement came when the owner of the Big Easy, Tony, preemptively rejected Celery because he didn't want to deal with the 21 year old birthday binge drinking liability. The best part was we were just walking by and weren't even trying to get in. Also a moment before Celery was rejected by The Gaf for the same reason. Luckily our read destination, Mad Max, had no cover let us in the end the birthday bonanza with some margaritas.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Celery!!!!

FLASHBACK FOGGED
So this weekend's flashback should probably go back to my 21st birthday but nobody knows what happened that day. It's only day in my life I have no recollection of, wonder what happened...?

FREE FOOD
Since the flashback to my 21st was fogged, I'll blog about an amazing random act of kindness. It was my turn to bring in food so Nicole and I went to Giant in search of a treat. I saw an Eagles cake and a Steelers cake. I thought it'd be fitting to get that along with a few personal things. In line I tried to pull out my credit card but had previously taken off the security sticker so it stuck to my other cards leading me to complain, "I hate when this happens."

A middle-aged gentleman took it upon himself to joke, "That just means you're tight with your money, then there's people like me. I just spend $230 last weekend for my undergrads. What you have there I wouldn't even notice on my credit card." I smiled at the joke and then he continued, "In fact, why don't you let me pay for that?"

I explained that I couldn't take his money and that I was bringing the food to my office but he wouldn't accept that. When my turn arrived, he reached over to the checker and handed him his credit card and said, "Don't let this man pay for you."

Neat huh?

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com

Monica's Election Day Birthday

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RATHER BE DEAD THEN DATE RED:
I woke up early today to make it to the polls. Nicole's dad is a big Republican fan marking tiny elephants in the bottom of letters, so in the prior weeks I relentless gave her arguments to vote for Kerry. It's not that I really care who you vote for, but I think you should be informed, and being the devil, I always have to play the advocate of the other opinion. In the end I think Nicole became disenfranchised and didn't send in her absentee.

Meanwhile, I woke up two hours early today to get in line. I had to walk all the way across the block to the church that was my polling place. After I spent 39 minutes in line in front of an amusing yuppie couple whose conversation I eased dropped on, I got acquainted with the fun punch card process. If elections were like bowling, my candidate would win because my voting number was 69! (If you're wondering I lean more towards the conservative fiscal republicans but follow the democrats on most social issues. I'm a register Green Party member because chicks dig it, and I voted for Kerry in the hopes of creating a stalemate in Washington. I figured if there were two separate parties fighting for power; it'd lead to more compromise.)

BALLOON ANIMALS:
One of my favorite gifts was a book on how to make balloon animals. It came in handy millions of time and is a great deal of fun. If you're looking for a cheap, fun hobby I'd suggest it; it's insanely simple as long as you're not insane like Nicole. Nicole won't blow up a balloon because she has this irrational fear that it will blow up and a piece will fling down her throat and suffocate her or poke out her eyes. Even for the insane like her, they have a cheap balloon pump. Before you knew it I quickly made a snoopy balloon for Monica's 22nd birthday.

MEET ME AT THE CORNER:
With green snoopy balloon in handed, we made the quick drive to the Corner Room. I've never been a big fan of the Corner Room, but it had its place in my college memories. It's a nice alternative to the waffle shop if you don't want to drive to Eat N Park and the line in Irvings is daunting. The Corner Room's all-you-can-eat pasta night Wednesdays in college was a god send.

ZENOS:
After the dinner, we headed Zenos because it was nearby so Monica could get a birthday drink. We flicked on the TV to watch CNN and hear the liberal oriented bar cheer whenever they could as most of the east cost turned blue but the rest turn red. We did get to see PA turn blue, and after our drinks headed home.

Happy Election Day birthday Monica

Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com