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When you’re in high school you think “I’ll never use an analogy”, but then you grow up to read your personal hero’s blog, and suddenly one appears. Do you panic and flee, or are you now prepared to figure it out?
Fall : (is to) Halloween
[AS]
Summer: (is to) ??
ANSWER:
?? = Artsfest
If you got it correct, you may continue reading; otherwise, go directly to your music collection and play some pop number one hit that you were listening to instead of studying analogies, hopefully Backstreet Boys. Finally shoot yourself in the head...with a high powered squirt gun.
O MUSE, FESTIVAL OF THE ARTS:
Don't tell Halloween, but when it's not in season, I've been fooling around with Artsfest, the second biggest party weekend in Penn State. Maybe I'm an asshole, but I was lonely and couldn't wait, and Artsfest was so exotic. It shook my unstoried and artless life and made me feel things I've never experienced. I don't care who knows and what names they call me; Artsfest knew how to please me, and unlike Halloween it lasted for days on end!
Every day during Art’s Fest invoked the delight of choosing which booths to solicit for lunch. Crab cakes, chocolate covered strawberries, funnel cake, kabobs, and whole chicken legs go great with freshly squeezed lemonade as we promenaded along the path beside the booths, critiquing the various art pieces.
Yes, I said “promenade”, because that’s the only word to truly describe the wonderment and joy of Artsfest by a closeted art fiend like me. Fru-fur, perhaps?, but if you ever tasted my food you'd know why I eat out, and why festivals are a treat. I mean I'm the guy that melted a plastic bowl on the stove the first time I tried to made soup. I'm the same guy that put a cake with powered sugar instead of flour to ignite in the oven in home ec in 8th grade. I'm "that guy" who says, "Let's add this spice and see what happens". When you're that guy, you promenade when you're around delicious delicatessens.
BEST IN SHOW:
Once again, the sunlight pulsed and wove from the heavens to bounce off the multi-colored mosaic of glass furniture which remains my favorite pieces of the week’s displays. One day I’ll have the resources in space and capital to acquire the art furniture (If you want to help, donations are appreciated, send one dollar to Happy Guy, 600 W. College Ave, State College, Pa…).
Until that day the art may join my home, I’ll live vicariously though Nicole whose heart flung like ballerina’s lariats when she found, select, charged, and took home some funky necklaces. My only purchase was a present which is odd because I love buying things for myself.
A MIME IS A TERRIBLE THINK TO WASTE:
Winning the performance prize this year was a random mime on stilts outside of Ben and Jerry’s, but the Scottish bagpipers deserved an honorable mention. As for activities, I always give a shout out to the small walk way on Allen Street that showers you with steam, and the buckets that randomly drop water on your head.
For kids mainly?, nah, for everyone whose hot in the summer and doesn’t have a stick up their ass. Would you dare to go under the bucket or do you live your life cautiously afraid of the unknown, young doctors and old barbers?
OUT WITH THE OLD IN WITH THE NEW:
Usually I hear sand words speaking to me from the sculpture at then end of the Artsfest route, but this year all I heard was a thin whisper of wind saying, “If only I was more powerful I could blow this abomination away”. This year’s sand sculpture was meek and weak and crap, all at the same time. It isn’t even worthy enough to warrant the time wasted to scorn it.
To contrast the disappoint was this incredible inflated outdoor palace that was erected in the football field, where you could walk though and visit each room which was created by different shaded fabrics so the ambient sunlight would flood the rooms with moods of light. The picture of me above was obviously from the blue room of this inflated fabric palace, and I think I took a good impromptu artsy emotional picture.
My friends, on the other hand, have laid the claim that I look like an extra in the middle of b-rated horror flick cast with a renegade member of the blue man group who makes love with the red MnM to create a master race of purple chocolate people eaters that attack me. [Okay, I admit, I have no friends, and that claim is made by me—hehe]
ASTROFEST:
I used to think Astrology was only for geek-a-philiacs like Peaches who was in the club, but since Bert was presenting the constellations, we went to Astrofest which was a change in pace fun. In the transformed Davey building, we got to make a comet type rock out of dry ice. In one section we got to drive remote control land rovers on a Mars like surface.
In another area we answered trivia questions for prizes. I won a far out picture of a nebula that now shields my bookcase. Since Happy Valley has the most overcast in USA behind to Seatle, it wasn't shocking that it was too cloudy to see anything but we still hung out on the roofs by the telescopes.
BANDS:
Nothing will ever beat the year it rained and we become mud people for "Jimmy Eat World", but it’s always a bonus of living in a college town to see free bands. As a change of pace this year we saw the religious band that sings "if I could swim after 40 days..." The tv screens and sound setup they had was nice and led to some mild but fun bouncing for freeness.
PARTY ALL DAY AND ALL NIGHT:
Of course its summer so we played sand volleyball by day, but since it’s Artfest the partying starts early. It was the afternoon and we were drinking at MattyMat’s. I read a bunch of trivia question, chilled on the hammock o’ fun, and played some drinking card games. In darkness dwelt the usual night life which you have to visit to experience properly.
LAMENTS:
I found and bought the awesomest gift for Peaches as my only purchase this year though I have no clue if I'll ever see her to give it to her. Also it was sad to have Artsfest without Trouble who is now in grad school in Arizona. Still new friends were made, like Kate's old roommate, and the week lived up to its standard. Now we'll just have to see if Halloween forgives me for cheating on it, and Oct will live up to its bill as best in the year.
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