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FOOOOOOOD!!, THE CHALLANGE:
I dub thee day o yum. For breakfast, coworkers brought bagels, yum. For lunch, I went to Korean Buffet, all you can eat and Dim Sum, double yum. Then when I returned to work Cathy created a holiday weight challenge to encourage everyone not to dig your grave with your own knife and fork, what fun? I pledged seven pounds figuring I wouldn't give up Turkey Day for anyone. I was going to gain at least ten pounds eating Papa Johns over the Steeler's football season, so if I can keep up with those traditions and still loose weight, a miracle be done.
TEMPTATION:
To immediately challenge the weight challenge was RuchaCat's invitation for an Indian appetizer party. Her motivation was to prove to her rents she could accomplish the culinary feat, anybody surprised? RuchaCat is the same girl who spent years being a vegetarian just to prove she could do it; meanwhile, I have repeatedly proven I am addicted to nothing except dirotoes which I've consumed fortnightly since I was twelve.
COMMENTS ON INDIAN CUISINE:
I'm far from a fanatic connoisseur of Indian food. I would choose pirogues over "porontas" any day of the week, but found it in my heart to accept the free food. When I was young, the ethnic food would prompt me to curl around the drain under the bathroom sink hiding in the darkness where I couldn't be found. The special smells in this hiding place were exponentially more pleasant than those comings out of the kitchen. If you think bar smoke saturates fabrics, try bathing in the potpourri of an Indian kitchen. To me, it's like fish. I like the taste but hate the smell, which is odd because taste and smell are physiological closely connected.
Nowadays most Indian foods are too sweet that I nickname the snacks "gelatinous diabetes" or "liquid hypertension". Given the general aversion, it is surprising to most that there are any foods Indian foods I enjoy, "naaan bread", "spicy chicken curry", "cheese puneer", almond mango shakes, and "kulfee" (all of which taste better than they sound or look, and 10 times better than I can spell).
INDIAN FOOD FACEOFF
For these rare treats, Amit's mom is with little competition the best Indian cook I know. She puts restaurants to shame, but among the ranks of the youth is a glimmer of competition. Abha's mouth-watering spinach "pikordas" where so sensational I had to pause and swallow to slow my salivating imagination. In no exaggeration, she instantly soar to my fav foods list. But that doesn't give her the right to yell at MattyMat and I for trying to take more than our share. -Abha's going to make one ruthless mommy.
In her stylish clothes RuchaCat contributed to the menu most valiantly with some yummy appetizers and desserts too. To her I say "wonderfulrific" and hope she gets the allusion to the inside joke. Both girls provided a bonus to the food and fun by serving sparkling drinks to enhance the atmosphere.
REACTIONS FROM THE CROWD:
Hard work paid off and from what I gathered almost everyone enjoyed the treats. All this arduous effort didn't help poor Vivian the vegan though. Her beliefs kept her from eating much so she was left to deep throat the cool whip to our amusement.
At first it was funny seeing Alice. I was forced to answer Alice’s call looking for directions with clueless answers of 'I'm not sure what apartment this is and people are busy', leaving me outside to be play a lame duck version of Marco Polo until we triangulate each other’s position by the yellow dumpster outside. The whole evening Alice seemed pleasant enough, but if this day was a movie, she would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Small Asian Girl." Sometimes that girl needs to go crazy in front of other people so I’m not the only one that says “I told you so” when she goes on a murderous rampage.
CAN ANYONE MAKE A DESCION PLEASE?
After our minds gained control of our bellies to prevent further indulging, we numbed out minds with VH1 highlights until we finally made a decision of indecision. We'll go to the hookah lounge. We’ll try it out and leave if we don't like it. We dashed to my car in the rain where the Indians and non-Indians separated until I almost nailed the other person's car with my lazy cock-eyed parking to the Hookah Lounge. After a playful adventure to the Mac machine with Abha's little sister, we finagled a group discount to the Goth DJ night at the hookah lounge.
GOTH HOOKAH FUN:
I only recognized a few songs and was mildly amused by the others who watched with some wonder at the industrial way of dancing. In the attempt to blow smoke hole, I got my first hookah buzz which caused me to apologize to RuchaCat who I always teased for getting lit by smoking tobacco filtered though water.
Man, it's hard to admit I was wrong, especially to RuchaCat cuz we have that competitive, argumentative, to the point of irrational, type relationship. Still as the night went on we heard several songs. I was yelled at for moving the couch which is apparently taboo. Eventually, we lost the flame to the candle and over the mild conversations, I realized something. I WON because RuchaCat fell asleep on the chair. It was amazing to see.
YOU SNOOZE YOU LOSE:
Granted RuchaCat probably didn't know there was any "staying awake" challenge because she probably had no clue how odd it was for me to see her asleep. For as long as I can remember I've always been the hyperactive one in the group. It was always me who could outlive anyone if they were interesting things to do. As a child, I'd sneak downstairs after bed time and watch prime time tv without being sleepy until the late show was on and I'd fall asleep to be picked up and put in bed by my dad. RuchaCat was the first person I met who could repeatedly stay up longer than me her freshman year and it was mind-boggling.
EXCUSES:
I'd blame her soothing back massages, or joke that her company was so lame it was sleep induced, but it was probably the opposite. She was fun to argue with, creative and playful, and exhausted me. I thought myself defeated until spring break. Mono e mono the challenge was on and I destroyed her!! In retrospect, it turns out she always had cat naps during the daytime to help her. When we had days upon days of simultaneous activities during spring break, I effortlessly outlasted her and finally saw her sleep just like I did today.
I think it was Voltaire that said man often forget how beautiful women sing. Along those lines I say man often forget the beauty of a sleeping girl, the sacred lullaby of her breathing, the visual splendor of the picture of peacefulness, and the promise of the hope she dreams. Maybe that's why my favorite artist piece of RuchaCat's that hangs under my foldout bed is of a person sleeping under the vibrant sun, (then again, it could be because the person looks like a turkey too).
Since I somehow ended on a more philosophical note, here's a bonus lesson in Pchewyism. It comes from a snippet of conversation with Vidhi I had today that has been cleaned up a bit:
A LESSON IN PCHEWYISM....
In this scene, psubabbler says something, and then insults with a more brutal version of the truth which Vidhi commends as honesty...
Vidhi: finally a grain of truth
psubabbler: truth doesn't come in grains...it is either all there or a perversion or illusion
Vidhi: HAAHHAA.. Perversion.. and illusion
Vidhi: as if they were 2 separate things
Vidhi: beautiful
psubabbler: According to pchewyism: a prevision is when someone changes the truth to deceive you, whereas an illusion is when you listen wrong, make excuse, or change what you hear to lie to yourself and form an illusion
Vidhi: hahahaah
Vidhi: so an illusion is a perversion u do with yrself
Now it wasn't like RuchaCat was snoring in the Hookha lounge. Was she eye-closed relaxing, or was she awake? Was my whole victory just an perversion? Even if I won, after the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box, simillarly in life all men end up in the same box...a casket.
Oh well, sweet dreams Kryptonite.
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
