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Dicke the sweetheart wanted to celebrate his girlfriend's 20th bday, and since KT can't drink at the bars in the USA, he planned a lovely trip north of the border to o' Canada. Overall it was pretty kewl except that I didn't get to gamble.
Top 10 Things About The Secret Trip to Canada
1) Niagara on TV==>When we got back to "the states" and flicked on the TVs, lo and behold "The Nanny" was in Niagara. She was trying to sucker her rich boss onto the Maid of the Mists boat ride to seduce him to propose in the engagement capital of the world. Freaky, huh?
2) KT stays with Dicke==>Do you believe in curses? I used to think there was a birthday curse with Dicke. Last time he had a girlfriend she dumped him through email on his birthday. This year he launched a shredded wet napkin wad into his girlfriend's eye at his birthday dinner, but she still stayed with him. Now this weekend her birthday has been celebrated and Dicke remains steadfast. The curse is reversed!! Hang onto this girl Dicke huh!
3) Phil permission slip==>Last time I saw the falls was in June after Pete's pimpin' wedding dance in Buffalo. We decided to visit since we were in the vicinity, but on the car ride to Canada , KT curiously turned to Dicke and asked, "Honey, are you allowed to go to Canada?"
"--Damn!" Dicke exclaimed as he realized that with his security clearance he wasn't allowed to leave the country without informing them; subsequently we viewed the falls from the American side. Come to think about it though, we were in the Canadian waters when we did the Maid of the Mists boat ride. Rebels huh?
4) Animal, Mineral, or Vegetable?==>named after that "Model General" jingle which was brilliantly preformed by Wacko from Animanaics, this quizzical game is a simple twist on twenty questions. One person pictures something in their mind's eye while their mates try to guess with yes-no questions. The first question queries the category, Is it an animal? Is it a vegetable? Mineral? and if the answer is no, your turn is forfeited to the next mate in line....
I apparently picked hard ones, flamingo, bats, and eagles. People get confused by a bird that doesn't fly or a mammal that does; perhaps I am due some fault, apparently, eagles aren't blue, but after America's propaganda genetic core gets to them they will be red-eyed, white-feathered with blue mains, rest assured.
Overall, it's a nifty challenge to teach people not to jump to conclusions. It made a road trip triumphant joy playing with Nicole, Steph and her boyfriend on the way up to o' Canada. The ESPN highlight to me was when Steph chose "Dicke" as the "thing" and the question "Can it be found in Pennsylvania?" arose. The coy reply was, "Yes, well not now because it's in New York". Pretty silly huh?
5) Slip, Slide, Suds, Sauna, and Splashes==>I didn't get to gamble but I did enjoy my other favorite thing to do on vacation, hotel sauna. It was a dry sauna which was meak, but the Jacuzzi was nifty, and get this, they had a SLIDE going into the 4 meter pool! Dave Wyman wins outright for the biggest splash and the daring headfirst, upside-down type shenanigans. --Also the pool was half indoor / half outdoor, but we didn't get to experience the joys of the outdoor portion due to the season. That just means we can go back in summer huh?
6) Hotel Overload --Immediately when we got to the hotel our presence was known to the staff. I had to do some nifty Knight Rider driving to get a parking spot, but it was probably all of us standing outside of the hotel with our stuff that didn't help our cause of sharing a room. The manager didn't buy Dicke's unconvincing ruse that some of us were staying in another hotel. Since the room was oddly shaped, Mr. and Mrs. Dave Wyman got their own room where Nicole and I stayed in exchange for buying them dinner at the Keg. Good deal huh?
7) Shoe buffer -- What fine hotel doesn't have one? Me being on-shoe, I was most happily impressed with the shoe appliance. Thusly, I preceded to use the shoe buffer for its many uses, foot massager, waking Nicole up in the morning, you know the usual. Does that give anybody a hint for what I want for Christmas huh?
8) Behind the falls--Yet again, I didn't see the night lights on the falls, but I did go behind the falls. It's much overrated and pitiful compared to Maid of the Mist rides in the summer, but it did allow me to make some funny videos of Nicole and I dancing by the falls. So if Kodak moments control your life and Hallmark seduces your wallet from you every season, succumb to the allure of Behind The Falls; otherwise try the other joys of the falls like the arcades, wacky museums or haunted houses. With THE BAbbLER around who needs tour agents huh?
9) Arcade--You lika the arcade, yeah I lika the arcade, the arcade iz goooood. You got to love a bar that's incorporated with an arcade where you get the advantage of the exchange rate to play next generation arcade games. I fell in love with a soccer game where you had to kick a ball connected to the machine to simulate your player, and was impressed by the boxing game where I wore gloves and video cameras censored my movements. I also played a lot of kiddy games to get tickets. The first night we claimed our prize of rings for all the girls, while the second night it was kazoo blowers for all! (i miss Playland :( ). I'm so giving huh?
10) Drinking & Dining--We tried to rekindle our love for a mixed frozen drink that we had in spring break in Niagara before, but couldn't remember the name of drinks. Instead, we consumed a group shot of kamikazes compliments of Dicke at this bar that was weaker than my thumb wrestling skills.
Apparently elevator advertising work, because it convinced us to go to Dennys which was priced like a fancy restaurant (never again). The culinary best goes to "The Keg" where I got a delicious mango mixed drink and sword fought Dave Wyman while dining of fine blue rare steak! Dicke's crew was troublemakers, breaking a drink which was promptly replaced by the kewl waitress.
The most amusing dining award goes to Burger King. On the way there I thought we were driving and departing quickly, so I ordered a shrimp salad and just downed the shrimp and saved the salad to apparently rot in the hotel. On the return trip there was a random old guy hitting on KT's friend doing the most outrageous stand up routine and harmonica playing at the Burger King.
--introductions....knock-knock; who's there -you forgot already?
--Your eyes are like Marylyn Monroe, one on each side.
--Your legs are like petals, bicycle pedals
Funny stuff live, huh?
So another fine trip to Canada without meeting my doom!!! Doom, what the hell is that about?
BONUS BLOG: ...years ago I went to the most accurate fortune teller on the beaches of South Carolina. I was amazed that the lady came up with more specific fortunes than generated ones, probably because I challenged her with humor and skepticism. Also, it was kind of cute that she keyed off my persona to the point that she did the reading with comic book analogies for me. I was 16 and everything she predicted has so far come true, including injury's to my friend on that trip, death of my grandfather, getting into the first college I applied, and describing generally, but eerily precisely, my romantic infatuations from high school to college.
She described me as the joker with 5 cups of wine, --3 full, 1 drunk, 1 spilt over and said that my life would be overwhelmed with joys if I learned to focus on full glasses of the future and not the cups that have been drunk or spilt. The most poignant prediction was her prediction that I would meet what she called as my kryptonite, an artist that will have more energy and wit than me. The only 2 things left is my marriage in Vegas and my "DOOM" in Canada. She said it wasn't death, because there's no doom in death, but it was defiantly doom, but wouldn't elaborate further.
Once again, I tempted the fates and survived, huh!
Your Personal Hero
THE BAbbLER
pchewy
Anshu Gupta
http://psubabbler.esmartguy.com
