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All is quiet on New Years day. Sadness follows because sweet Trouble (Jess) is on her way, away. That nutty girl woke my lazy bones up just to take her to the bus station so I could say good bye and start missing her, gesh. Luckily, in the world of pChewy, if you want fun, then make it; swim in a deep sea of playful mayhem! We're off...
It was New Years day in Happy Valley, and since the abnormal mid 40’s heat was melting the ice sculptures on Allen St., I was going to have fun in the slosh. For Xmas, Santa got me this Spiderman toy that shoots real streamers because I was a good boy. Taking careful aim, I jokingly shot at one of the sculptures to the delight of a random child who then begged me to shoot him. I acquiesced and sprayed the gleeful boy a few time as he dodged merrily until I gave him the chance to try out the canister of stringy fun. His parents thanked me and then I was on my way.
After partying, it's the Waffleshop, if you ever bounced with me, you know what I'm talking about; Kate, Steve, and Anthony dined with bliss, and after the good times we saw the funniest flick, “Shawn of the Dead”. Now you don't have to have watched the remake of Dawn of the Dead (though if you want a thrilling gore movie, that would be it), to enjoy this hilarious movie which is a play on zombie movies. Somehow Kate the pansy was slightly afraid, by what?, I don't know because the movie was such a well produced up roaring farce. Shawn of the Dead has to be my best impulse movie of the year since "Shoaling Soccer".
Following the movie, we frolicked to Anthony's brother John's place for some tasty homemade Gorditas and football. The Gorditas were delicious in this amazing ranch sauce and went perfectly with watching the close Michigan bowl game. Noting the time so we’d know exactly when 30 minutes later arrived, we gathered our makeshift swimwear, loaded into two cars, and headed to Alice's place.
Yes, I said swimwear in the middle of winter. How perfect right? I hooked up my laptop, which has lame internal speakers, to Alice's computer speakers and base. Since it was thirty minutes later, we were allowed to dive into her hot tub like a submarine in enemy waters, overflowing the area in flash flood scenario. We had our malt bottles from Highway Pizza in hand because the liquor stores in our commonwealth were closed which meant no hard liquor.
It took us forever until genius Steve deciphered the controls of the Jacuzzi and figured out how to adjust the heat, causing us to burst into cheers every time the temperature went up a single degree. Nicole was on the attack with squirt gun rubber duckies, but nothing could really protect you from James in Speedos, especially when KT and Dicke arrived late to scrunch us together like performers in a clown car. Only James was much scarier then clowns could ever be.
“Your honor, I unequivocally stand by my previous testimony. That puddle of water by the toilet is my swimming trunks dripping onto the floor, not pee.” It didn’t take a court order for Alice to wise up and lay some towels in the bathroom and the room leading the tub only after we left a wet mess. I guess I could be prosecuted for neglect because I told Alice I’d bring extra towels. But if I go down I’m bringing my accomplice Nicole with me. I relayed the need for towels to her, but she didn’t bring our bath towels so we were short some.
After the heat got unbearable, we trickled out one by one, Nicole being the last to leave because she stubbornly wouldn’t let me win that honor. I turned and gazed at the spectacle; the water we displaced could have bathed a gross of midgets or watered a field of killer tomatoes, and it left the filter in the tub gasping for water. Unfortunately our best efforts could locate the hose and spigot to replace the water.
Oh well, inside the house I did find myself a tall slender glass full of a blue Windex-like punch purchased because I imagined the vibrant color when mixed with poisons could lure my nemesis Celery to imbibe for her untimely demise--muhahahaha. Along with the blue juice and my evil thoughts, I munched on delicious brownies made by our hostess ho-hoe, Alice.
To varying degrees the weekend of partying had gotten to most of us, especially Steve who was sprawled out on the couch passed out from sleep deprivation, not alcohol consumption. I guess that means we can declared the start of the New Year an unrivaled success, bid the night farewell, and silently embraced our hopes for fun in the future.
I hope you’ll be part of that fun…
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pchewy
Anshu Gupta
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