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Jeremy comes back to visit 2/12
Today I present a one time only special. Read this blog and we will grant you free passage to the kingdom of heaven. No questions asked. You just have to drink every time I mention Long Island Ice Tea [Void by racists, rapists, evangelists and people whose name rhymes with feral]
Country Roads take me home…
To the place I belong;
Happy Valley, Home of Joepa,
Take me home, country roads...
Now that version of the famous song is the one I sing whenever I return to Happy Valley from a road trip. It is a tradition, just like when you come back to Pennsylvania you are supposed to roll down your windows, take a deep breath, and suck in that beautiful PA smell (hopefully you are not downwind from Jersey where the tradition is to spit out the window). This Country Roads tradition started by a singer, Cunningham, a cover band made famous at Cafe 210's Friday Happy Hour.
In my undergrad, I used to yell at Mondays and scorn Tuesdays. I used to vow to others I would maim Wednesdays and mess up the hair of Thursdays. In fact, Monday through Thursdays lived in fear. They all knew their days were numbered (no pin intended). You have to admit that those days are inconsequential, just wasted time until it was Friday and I was in love...with my 210 happy hour. It was the earliest happy hour to jump-start your weekend. After I turned 21, it was the place to meet up with a fun subset of my friends.
At $2 dollar, the price break on the Long Island Ice Teas special made it a prerequisite at every Cafe 210's Friday Happy Hour visit. Long Island Ice Teas are proof that God loves us, and only thing better than buying a Long Island Ice Tea is my favorite drink on Fridays. What I like to drink most, you may wonder, is obviously the Long Island Ice Tea that belongs to others. When Jeremy was a TA, one of his students gave us free Long Island Ice Teas. How beautiful, right? Cuando amor no es locura, no es amor (When love is not madness, it is not love.) I amor my Long Island Ice Tea--he-he.
Unfortunately, Cunningham fell ill with a heart attack after we graduated and no longer performs. I am sure it had nothing to do with the smoking, drinking and going to bars all his life. Now "JR and Woman" have taken his place as the cover band you get to listen when drowning in sweet refreshing Long Island Ice Teas. It is defiantly not the same, but I like JR and Woman from the numerous times I saw them holding a "Monkeyboy" at my favorite get-smashed bar, "The Saloon". I call them JR and Woman because JR has gone through several accompanying women since I started listening to him: Shari, Deb, and now Kate. I think Deb was my favorite flavor of the week, but that may be just because she looked the best and I drank the most then.
This weekend Jeremy and his wife came to town so nostalgia forced us to visit Cafe 210 for a few rounds of Long Island Ice Teas. They were both visiting for career fair, but now the tables were turned. They were the people who were recruiting the undergraduates. Lisa had such an exhausting line of applicants eager for employment it must have been heaven when she was finished. Now Lisa could just bounce with her man and friends at happiest Friday spot, Cafe 210; obviously with a Long Island Ice Tea chilling her hand.
Happy hour will always remind me of Trouble and Dicke who I was with most of the times I have gone there. I once dreamt that Trouble got her toes amputated so she could stand closer to the stage while Dicke was behind the bar for some reason saying he was from Long Island so he should mix the drinks. --I know, I know. I need to enter rehab, but that is for quitters. I also will give a huge shout out to SneakAttack, SpecialBrew, and Melanie who were my happy hour postgraduate comrades.
Cafe 210 is more preppy and low key then the other bars I frequent. In addition, you start your evening there so you probably do not have to adhere to the rules of the crowbar to avoid ugly women and fights. "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things." Then again, that might be standard advice when bar bouncing.
What you do have to remember at 210 is that it is probably a little earlier than you are use to going out. Therefore, make sure you do not blow all your finances or you will a moocher the rest of the night. Now do not do what I do, just do what I say in this matter--hehe. Then again, the times I went nuts were some of the best times. Who needs money anyway? Most money is tainted; taint' yours and it taint' mine.
The next thing you should remember is before you come to 210, eat. If you do not follow my advice, it is okay. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others. Another gem of advice is when you leave 210 after drinking more than four Long Island Ice Teas, be cautious. It only takes a bananosecond to experience pain. (Bananosecond: Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement which is equal to the time it takes for girls to do the same in high heels after 210 drinking).
Man, all this talk makes me wish I had some Long Island Ice teas right now, but I would probably be giving you different advice, like how to pick up someone. I guess that can be seen as advice too, be wary of what your friends tell you.
I guess the most important thing to remember though is do not go so wild that your spent for the night and passed out in 20 minutes afterwards. You probably do not have a breathalyzer on your cell phone keeping you from making drunken calls, so do not call anyone unless you are going to be funny. Similar warning goes with IM, a warning I think Amy can appreciate: WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may mack you tihnk you can tipe real gode.
Life's a tough job, and the hours are a bitch, but sometimes you can spend a magical hour that last two at a special place and time we will are remember as 210 Happy Hour. I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning that is as good as they are going to feel all day. Well it was fun having Jeremy and the crew visit. Raise up your Long Island Ice Tea glasses and do the 210 toast, "Here's to you and here's to me; and if we both disagree, fuck you, here's to me and my true friend Long Island Ice Tea"
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